We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
