Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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