Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
