After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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