So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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