I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
