New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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