Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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