It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sext me about skeletons
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
