I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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