Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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