It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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