that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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