Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
