She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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