I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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