my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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