Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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