I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he thought i was a dude.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I didn't notice because vodka
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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