my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
