honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
