She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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