Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
