Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
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Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
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I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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