i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
