you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
