Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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