How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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