He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
