i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ladies don't puke and tell
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
