My pussy is not your playground.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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