I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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