next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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