bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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