I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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