apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
