He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize