I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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