Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
50% drunk capacity currently
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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