why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
