You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
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Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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