i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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