I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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