Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
