Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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