Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
