how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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