i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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