Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
