if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
