i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall