come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
