I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup