you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
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I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
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Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.