worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.