i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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