I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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