Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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