the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
