the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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