You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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