I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize