i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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