i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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