i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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