Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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