I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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