If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
