lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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